A real thought.

June 8, 2011 mxd with August 12, 2011

One way to determine it is teen angst is that it happens too easily. You think you're in love. You think your world is going to end. You get extreme bliss and bouts of sadness.

No matter how I turn myself inside out I'm no longer the same.
Every passing moment makes me a little different from the previous one.

Everyday I'm waging wars to take a moment's grasp of the truth. Everyone thinks (common people) their lives are important; personal attachments lead them to believe so..but if you take a look at the bigger picture, everyone is going through the same things and nobody even remembers. Everyone exists and few people live. Everyone goes through school - work - marriage (or some type of commitment) and then dies and nobody remembers them. It's like they are just some humans to continue the existence of our species. I know God knows everyone. I know God created humans. It's just that I am asking if it is only me asking these things, the one who can see the vanity of life...how one is disgusted to be once filled with this "mass" perception..how one questions everything they were told as "true" including the world they are living in. I wonder.

I'm certainly nowhere near the start of the journey. I'd have to let go of a lot of things. Everything. It is tempting to make myself look normal and acceptable instead. To see this world as simply a passing illusion, a fleeting dream is a bare and undeniable truth.

I'm losing my interest with the world.

So many sounds have entered my ears
So many things passed by my sight
Too many words uttered
Too many things that interacted with my senses
All my life
That nothing is remembered or upheld at all.